Many people use online dating sites to overcome shyness and insecurity before testing the waters in the offline world.
When two scientists representing Perth's Murdoch University got together to research the world of online dating introductions they discovered some interesting statistics. The research involved several focus groups of online dating site members and online dating past users.
Their studies discovered that having such a big sea of online dating singles to choose from gave even the most insecure singles a huge confidence lift. The possibility of meeting and being chosen by other attractive dating members, who were openly available, assisted them to put aside their feelings of insecurity.
"With internet online dating, members have more choices, they have the opportunity to be more selective and their level of confidence rises, they're not only relying on appearances and confidence to meet people" quotes Dr Kirsty Best who conducted the studies with colleague Sharon Demelge. "Also, this isn’t just finishing at the computer screen, it’s the attitude online internet daters are taking with them into the real world. A single woman who may have at one time or another sat and listened to a boring guy in a bar because she thought her options were closed might now be more likely to excuse herself from the conversation as she knows that she can look around elsewhere" Dr Best says to the telegraph.
"Whilst the numbers are massive with respects to the amount of members joining online dating sites, the biggest challenge is the sifting through them all. Like any well stocked department store, successful internet online dating sites make it simple for singles to track down exactly what they are looking for. Few have time to sort through the clearance bins of love for the right fit. Security procedures, virtual dates and other detailed searching criteria are ways some sites are using to assist their members find the right match. The hardest issue used to be the introduction part - that’s what friends playing match maker, computer chat, pre-arranged weddings and the dance were all about" Dr Best suggests. In some ways however, many online dating singles who use sites too often can end up missing out on many potential matches. The research showed that they used an in house selection system to weed out those unsuitable matches. This same selection method though often sidelines many perfect matches as the artificial constraints do not take into account information not held online.
Andrew, one of the study participants quoted in the daily telegraph said "I got the distinct feeling, it's a lot like shopping, they're thinking he's rather nice, but let’s see if there’s anyone better emailing or smsing me". Dr Best predicts that singles will become less likely to be happy with just one person, becoming like fashionists who will not buy a pair of shoes until they have looked at every shoe in the store. Of course with so many online daters to select from, that could take forever. The trick to successful online dating is to stop when you find someone that feels right and not think that a better deal is just one click away.
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Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Short Story- Man and Woman All Alone
Man and woman all alone.
Dalip Singh Wasan, Advocate.
I had a love marriage and I had got all faith in my husband. We had three children out of this wedlock and we had been leading a very happy life. Income of my husband was good and in addition to that I had also been in service and I too had been bring a handsome salary in the house.
Since I had to go out for so many hours, we had deployed a maid servant to do cleaning, washing and dusting work and at times she was helping me in the preparation of food in the kitchen. Our maid servant Bimla within age group of 35 years and therefore, she was looking smart and since she had been wearing clothes given to her considering those clothes as rags from the houses, where she had been working, she was looking like an educated lady and belonging to a rich family. She had been maintaining herself and I noted that she had been consuming some time each day in make-up and therefore, at times people coming to our house were having a view that she is one of members of our house. I had to explain and people coming to our house were of the view that she must have taken birth in a rich family because her get-up is better than so many women from the houses of rich.
In each summer vacations, we had been going to Shimla and this time, my husband had got some office engagements and therefore, he was to remain at the house. I took my brother and his family with us and we all went to Shimla. We had been at Shimla and we had been there for a week. On each day we had been having talks on phone and my husband suggested that we should stay there and he was free and therefore, he too shall be coming. But my brother was not having more casual leave store with him and therefore, he was not ready to stay at Shimla any more. I informed my husband and on his advice we stayed there and my brother and his family left Shimla. My husband came there and we had spent another week at Shimla enjoying a good season during those burning days of summer.
I had asked Bimla to be on leave and she shall be given the whole wages and there shall be no cut because of these holidays. But still I enquired from my husband whether she had come to the house during these days. He admitted that she had come and she was returned telling her that madam is not at the house. She had gone and she was again there when my husband was leaving the house and therefore, my husband had asked her to visit the house daily so that the house could be protected and he had allowed her to stay in the house with her husband and for that purpose he had given them the garage and all other rooms had been properly locked.
My husband had given complete information without any hesitation and there had been nothing on his face which could create some doubt in my mind. But still I had been recalling the words of one of my friends who had seen this Bimla at my house, “ Please ensure that you do not allow this woman all alone with your husband. She is so beautiful, so attractive and having all the parts of her body in such a shape which are coming in the liking zone of these men. When these men see a woman having all the organs of their choice and liking, they forget everything and they can do what we women would not like to listen.” I could not enjoy this period at Shimla and at all the times, I had been initiating talks on the subject of Bimla and there had been clean replies from the side of my husband. But my enjoyment period had ended when I heard that Bimla had been with my husband all alone in that big house and there was none other than these two people.
On my return, I found the house neat and clean and everything well arranged. My husband told me that he too had been busy with Bimla and they both had arranged each and everything of the house and they had given a very good outlook to the house. I also inspected the kitchen and I was informed that they had been preparing food too and that is the reason there was not a single utensil unclean lying in the kitchen.
“ Had you been with her when she was preparing food in the kitchen ?” Without any hesitation, my husband said, “ Yes I had been with her and I had been taking food and she had been serving me food here in the kitchen itself.” He showed me the place where he had been sitting and where he had placed the dishes and how she had been serving him.
The next day Bimla came to my house. My husband was not present in the house. I allowed her to sit near to me and I started asking her, “ I had asked to be on vacation for a week or so till I come back. But I have been informed that you had been here and had been serving your master?” She admitted the fact of her visits, “ Yes madam, I had been visiting your house when you were out. I had been performing my duties because I do not like that I should have wages for the period when I am not at work.”
“ But you should avoided to be all alone with a man in this big house. What the people living around would say?” She started weeping and said, “ You people believe that we have got no character. We people are poor that is another thing. But we do not sell our character. It is for you to believe in your husband or you may not believe in his integrity. But since I had been a maid servant in this house for the last three years, I could have a faith in you husband and that is the reason I came here and remained with him all alone.” She did not disclose what had happened during my absence, but my make-up almirah was telling me something different. Most of the articles were showing that those were opened and utilized during my absence. And in spite of the fact that there had been no direct evidence with me, I could not keep the same faith in my husband. I threw out all the jars maintained in my make-up almirah and also washed all the bed sheets. My husband remained with me for five years more when he died in an accident, he never disclosed what had happened during my absence, but I must admit that during this period of five years, we had not been living as husband and wife and I should declare on oath that I had been raped by him and I had been living with a person who was not my husband but had been committing adultery with me.
Dalip Singh Wasan, Advocate.
I had a love marriage and I had got all faith in my husband. We had three children out of this wedlock and we had been leading a very happy life. Income of my husband was good and in addition to that I had also been in service and I too had been bring a handsome salary in the house.
Since I had to go out for so many hours, we had deployed a maid servant to do cleaning, washing and dusting work and at times she was helping me in the preparation of food in the kitchen. Our maid servant Bimla within age group of 35 years and therefore, she was looking smart and since she had been wearing clothes given to her considering those clothes as rags from the houses, where she had been working, she was looking like an educated lady and belonging to a rich family. She had been maintaining herself and I noted that she had been consuming some time each day in make-up and therefore, at times people coming to our house were having a view that she is one of members of our house. I had to explain and people coming to our house were of the view that she must have taken birth in a rich family because her get-up is better than so many women from the houses of rich.
In each summer vacations, we had been going to Shimla and this time, my husband had got some office engagements and therefore, he was to remain at the house. I took my brother and his family with us and we all went to Shimla. We had been at Shimla and we had been there for a week. On each day we had been having talks on phone and my husband suggested that we should stay there and he was free and therefore, he too shall be coming. But my brother was not having more casual leave store with him and therefore, he was not ready to stay at Shimla any more. I informed my husband and on his advice we stayed there and my brother and his family left Shimla. My husband came there and we had spent another week at Shimla enjoying a good season during those burning days of summer.
I had asked Bimla to be on leave and she shall be given the whole wages and there shall be no cut because of these holidays. But still I enquired from my husband whether she had come to the house during these days. He admitted that she had come and she was returned telling her that madam is not at the house. She had gone and she was again there when my husband was leaving the house and therefore, my husband had asked her to visit the house daily so that the house could be protected and he had allowed her to stay in the house with her husband and for that purpose he had given them the garage and all other rooms had been properly locked.
My husband had given complete information without any hesitation and there had been nothing on his face which could create some doubt in my mind. But still I had been recalling the words of one of my friends who had seen this Bimla at my house, “ Please ensure that you do not allow this woman all alone with your husband. She is so beautiful, so attractive and having all the parts of her body in such a shape which are coming in the liking zone of these men. When these men see a woman having all the organs of their choice and liking, they forget everything and they can do what we women would not like to listen.” I could not enjoy this period at Shimla and at all the times, I had been initiating talks on the subject of Bimla and there had been clean replies from the side of my husband. But my enjoyment period had ended when I heard that Bimla had been with my husband all alone in that big house and there was none other than these two people.
On my return, I found the house neat and clean and everything well arranged. My husband told me that he too had been busy with Bimla and they both had arranged each and everything of the house and they had given a very good outlook to the house. I also inspected the kitchen and I was informed that they had been preparing food too and that is the reason there was not a single utensil unclean lying in the kitchen.
“ Had you been with her when she was preparing food in the kitchen ?” Without any hesitation, my husband said, “ Yes I had been with her and I had been taking food and she had been serving me food here in the kitchen itself.” He showed me the place where he had been sitting and where he had placed the dishes and how she had been serving him.
The next day Bimla came to my house. My husband was not present in the house. I allowed her to sit near to me and I started asking her, “ I had asked to be on vacation for a week or so till I come back. But I have been informed that you had been here and had been serving your master?” She admitted the fact of her visits, “ Yes madam, I had been visiting your house when you were out. I had been performing my duties because I do not like that I should have wages for the period when I am not at work.”
“ But you should avoided to be all alone with a man in this big house. What the people living around would say?” She started weeping and said, “ You people believe that we have got no character. We people are poor that is another thing. But we do not sell our character. It is for you to believe in your husband or you may not believe in his integrity. But since I had been a maid servant in this house for the last three years, I could have a faith in you husband and that is the reason I came here and remained with him all alone.” She did not disclose what had happened during my absence, but my make-up almirah was telling me something different. Most of the articles were showing that those were opened and utilized during my absence. And in spite of the fact that there had been no direct evidence with me, I could not keep the same faith in my husband. I threw out all the jars maintained in my make-up almirah and also washed all the bed sheets. My husband remained with me for five years more when he died in an accident, he never disclosed what had happened during my absence, but I must admit that during this period of five years, we had not been living as husband and wife and I should declare on oath that I had been raped by him and I had been living with a person who was not my husband but had been committing adultery with me.
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